rogue's ramblings

Ah, to have a peaceful life! A life of quiet, peaceful and serene.

Crap.

So, the brother with cancer? Is currently in the hospital being operated on (again) to remove a tumor in his brain (affecting his eyesight) and having a urologist looking up into his bladder to find out why he was peeing blood. The weird thing? The brain surgery is exactly a year from the last brain surgery he had. Very strange. And disconcerting.

And today is day six of six at work. Thank god I have the next two days off...

And I will get to everyone's stuff that I promised to edit. Really. Right after I collapse and sleep for about 12 hours.

And I have to mail the daughter's package today. And go to the bank. Hopefully, I can remember all of this... way too tired.

So, I have survived my six day straight of working.

I think.

And at least today is nice, not raining for a change.

And my brother is doing better, he had surgery on his leg to remove the tumor and all the bad stuff inside and should be walking on it already. Amazing what they can do with cancer nowadays.

So, with that said, I thought I would try to post some story... we'll see how that goes...

It's now halfway through Nov and I'm not even sure where Oct went.

And next weekend we are going to Mn for the baptism of the newest great-niece. And I am not sure that I am ready at all to see everyone.

Yes, I have talked to both Tim and Aundie, but that's not seeing them face-to-face. And considering that I have had a couple of bouts of hysterical crying (which I HATE), I'm not sure what's going to happen when we get up there.

Thank the Lord we are staying at the motel and not the house, it gets too bad, I'm bookin'...


On a totally different note, I'm really tired of all the crap going on at work, and now they say that our hours are going to be cut -- again -- and can't tell us for how long.

I am thankful that I have all my Christmas shopping done, I know, unnatural but I hate last minute shopping. Actually, I just hate shopping.

But it's putting a crimp in my budget, one of the girls I work with has 4 kids, a SO that's not working at the moment, and not a chance in hell of having a decent Christmas. Yes, I'm buying her kids a couple of presents. I have already bought them their own blankets. And their lists are really cute, until you get to the part where they ask for beds and dressers. She says that she's buying them all bunkbeds and dressers with next years income tax, since moving out of the last place (there was a flood, lost a lot of stuff) and are now in their own home, but trying to buy things when also paying for regular bills is almost impossible.

This economy just sucks...

Yes, indeedy! We're off to Iowa today to go to a gun show and to visit friends! And I don't have to go back to work until Monday!

It is, however, raining. That, I could have done without.

And, in the continuing update on my brother, he had his first drs appt since the surgery and had several small spots zapped (after a full body scan) and will be back in next month for another scan. I'm not sure what they plan to do, but so far, so good. And I know that there will be other treatments, but at least these drs are positive!

So, no internet for me for 3 days, oh well...

And boy, is that a true statement.

My brother got home last night (a day ahead of time) and has no problems with either sight or balance. My mom agrees with me that going to the cities was just the right thing to do. And that all of his care will be from there from now on. Because the drs in Willmar also dropped the ball.

But it is still a waiting game, he'll be on interferon for a looong time, and there are still the spots that have to be taken care of, but, at least now there is time to plan and that is always a good thing.

So, once again, a big thank you and hugs back to everyone!

Now, I just have to get my sleep patterns back...

The operation was in the cities, on Tues, and it all went well.

Going there was the right decision, they were more calm and hopeful and... just better, I think. Turns out that the tumor wasn't as big as the other doctors thought, and although he'll be on chemo for awhile, and will have pin-point radiation on some spots... it could have been a lot worse.

Until he wakes up, they won't know about the sight in his left eye, and until he can get out of bed, they won't know about his balance.

And, of course, they aren't guaranteeing him a super long life, just a longer one than before the surgery. It was cancer, after all, and his second bout with it.

So, he should be home (literally) on Friday and then my parent's will come home after the weekend.

So once again, thanks to everyone for keeping us in your thoughts, and prayers.

I'm crashing.

So, the question was, to have the operation in St. Cloud or to go to the cities.

It would seem that they decided that the cities would be the better idea.

So, my parents met  my youngest brother somewhere in central Wis. and they are going to my niece's apt. in St. Paul. because she only lives a little way from the hospital. Everyone, except me, will be there.

And I just have to wait.

And we had to tell my aunt and all the cousins and yes, I made the husband do it... still not handling it at all well.

Especially since now the operation is tomorrow, not Tues.

Sleep? Who needs sleep?

I think I have mentioned that I do something that I call 'true dreaming or flashes'.

And if you're saying, oh no, that would be... correct.

Last night I dreampt  that all my family was around, my daughter, my mom and dad, my youngest brother. And my son kept popping up and, as he tied his tie, kept saying, 'Well, let's get this over with.' But... no middle brother.

This is not a good sign.

I really hate it when this happens.

For the next little while, I will be lurking and probably not commenting much.

My brother who last year had the kidney out that was cancerous is having another tumor removed next Tues. From behind his left eye. You know, where his brain is. Well, supposed to be anyway.

It turns out he made the wrong choice in not having chemo last year, even though they thought they had gotten all of the cancer. And then he never went back for check-ups or the full body scan they wanted him to have.

For someone who is says he's so smart, sometimes he isn't.

But needless to say, even though we are not close, I am upset and it's a good thing that I am not working next Tues, I would be a basket case by the end of my shift.

Because, as in all of these types of surgeries, he could not make it. And at 52 going to be 53, I'm not ready to bury him.

So, even if I don't comment back, my family and I will appreciate all the good thoughts that I know everyone will have, as will his family.

So, thank you all in advance.